Steamy Thoughts
Some days ago, I had my first experience in a steam room. But my story begins before that.
The steam room is included in my gym membership and I wanted to fully exercise my perks. I'm a firm believer in exercise, of all forms.
But having made my resolution to visit the steam sauna, I realized I had no idea what that would entail.
In the movies, people don't wear shirts, I knew that. I also recalled that they wear towels rather than workout shorts.
In the movies, people always go to the sauna with a group of friends. Unfortunately, I do not have sauna friends. I suppose I could've made some after entering the sauna, but that'd be befriending, while the movies seem to suggest more of a pre-friending situation.
Alone it was. But if I were to go alone, what would I do? Sitting there in silence is unimaginable - I'd be awfully bored, wouldn't I? Maybe a podcast? I could wear my earphones and be the cool sauna loner guy. Everyone would know that I'd been there many times before, a sauna veteran, sitting there in the corner, sweating coolly.
In the before times, one would just go and do things and see what happened. In these times, with furrowed brows from overthinking minds, it's possible to completely eliminate uncertainty from novel life experiences.
I simply looked up "how to sauna" on my phone. Sat on a foam roller post-workout, I clicked on a WikiHow link and learned, step by step, what I should do. Then a Reddit link to learn what not to (apparently, earphones are a no?).
A couple of links later, I knew everything I needed to know. For all practical purposes, I had already visited the steam room by that point. Quite superfluously, I went inside for about ten minutes, just to complete the formalities.
I can't help but wonder if, in this modern age with access to immediate answers, we've lost something. How many odd, amusing situations are evaded? So many faux that would never come to pas. I have not come across a single article or study that addresses this alarming decline of simple, societal goof-ups in the smartphone era.
Nevertheless, I'm convinced it's true and I'm quite concerned - I have a blog that needs filling and the more stupid stories I have, the better.
Although, as I think about it, I'm content to be a mere observer. In fact, thanks to my sauna sleuthing, I may have preserved my powers of observation. It seems, had I been less informed, my constant-wear glasses may have cracked in the heat of a steam sauna.